Ten Tips For Coping While Hubbie's Away

My wonderful husband recently had to go overseas for a nine-day training workshop. Thankfully I had some help during that time - a friend came to stay for two nights and then my mother came for the remainder. However, despite having some extra pairs of hands to help with washing up and to entertain Sophie, Charis and Nathaniel while I was in the shower or needing to pop out for groceries, I still felt absolutely exhausted by the end of the nine days. I realised that it's not just the physical tiredness (taking on extra chores that my helpful husband usually does) but it's also the emotional tiredness of being the sole responsible parent for an extended period of time.

Afterwards, when I'd had some time to reflect on this and other times when I've been looking after the children on my own for several days at a time, I put together some tips for coping in these situations - partly for myself, but also in case they're useful for anyone else reading this post. So, here we go.....

1) Before your husband leaves, make sure you're stocked up on groceries and petrol for the time ahead, as much as possible. Have meal plans and a rough schedule prepared.

2) Enlist the children's help early on. Explain how Daddy being away means you'll have extra chores, and that you'll be needing their help and support over the next few days. Try to foster a team spirit - "We're all going to pitch in and help each other through this!"

3) Don't plan to do too much! I often fall into the trap of making great plans for things I will be doing while my husband's away. It's true that there is one less person around to feed and clean up after, and those first couple of evenings may seem like you have more time than usual on your hands, but it's not long before the tiredness kicks in. Pace yourself. This is a time to shorten your to-do list, not lengthen it.

4) Watch out for temptation! For some reason, not having my husband around to keep me accountable means that I soon fall into the trap of staying up too late watching mindless TV shows, or reaching for those comfort foods that I wouldn't normally consider part of my healthy eating plan. Before I know it, it's midnight, I have a half-finished box of chocolates in front of me, I wonder if I really needed to stay to the end of that not-very-good film that I've already seen before, actually, and I start to panic about being the only parent around to respond to the early morning calls of children beginning to wake up. Late nights eventually have a tendency to replace early morning Bible reading and prayer times, which are actually even more essential during this time.

5) Get more sleep! Not only do you need more sleep during this time, but it's tempting to actually get less sleep because of the above two points. Try to go to bed half an hour earlier than you usually would.

6) Simplify where possible. Don't be afraid to cook simpler meals, including ready-made meals. This is not the time to be worrying about the kids' nutritional needs! Haven't got time for your usual 30-minute workout? Don't beat yourself up about it. Don't have the energy to bath the kids as often, iron their clothes or clean the house quite so thoroughly? It really doesn't matter. And it's OK to put the kids in front of the TV for an extra hour than usual :-) Do what you need to do to survive.

7) Pray more! The one thing not to simplify or give up on is your reliance on God and His strength. You might not be able to have as long a quiet time in the morning, but see if you can pray more during the day as you're going along. You're going to need to rely on His help more than usual.

8) Try to get out of the house more. Stress levels can rise if cabin fever sets in. Getting out for some fresh air, whether it's to the local playground, or for a walk in the local park, or even just down to the local library or to have a play date with some friends, can really help lift your mood. It helps the time go faster, and also helps to wear out the kids, especially if they're able to run around. Tired kids means earlier bedtimes :-) It also helps you to get in some healthy adult conversation and interaction with other grown-ups, which may be somewhat lacking. However, keep it simple. This is not the time for long day trips which involve long car journeys, missed naps and ultimately results in cranky kids and one frustrated, grumpy mum.

9) Don't be afraid to ask for help! Don't try to be supermum. Accept offers of help from friends and grandparents, as long as it doesn't actually cause you more work in the long run. If someone is able to watch your kids for an hour or two while you can get out of the house on your own and recharge your batteries, then that can be really beneficial both for you and the kids.

10) Finally, prepare the kids for Daddy's return. This is something you can all look forward to! Make cards and welcome home posters, go and pick him up from the bus station or wait eagerly at the door for his return. Have some nice food or even homemade cakes waiting for him. Let your kids know how important Daddy is to you and the family. However, you might want to give him some time to recover from the trip before you hand him the nappy bag and walk out of the house on a bee-line to the nearest coffee shop :-)

Qu: Does your husband often need to go away for extended periods of time? What other tips do you have for coping while he's away?

Abide in Him!

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Linking up here:

Learning a Foreign Language - Part 2

Hi, welcome back to Part 2. I'm linking up with the Charlotte Mason blog carnival, and the current theme is Foreign Language. If you missed Part 1 you can find it here.

Teaching a Foreign Language in Homeschool

I mentioned in Part 1 that, alongside Russian, we are also learning French. Now, I'd like to stress at the outset that we don't do this as regularly as we should in our homeschool, and I'm still investigating materials, but I'd like to share with you what we do and what I've learned so far.

Now, I possibly have a slight advantage over the average homeschooling mother in this area in that, before going overseas, my husband and I attended an SIL course on Language and Culture Acquisition, which involved learning how to go about learning a local language with limited resources. We used the method we had learned reasonably successfully to learn the local language where we live (not Russian) and I believe the method can translate (forgive the pun!) very well to the homeschool classroom.

Having read a little of Charlotte Mason's views on Foreign Language learning, I can see that her preferred method (the Gouin method) has a lot in common with our method: Total Physical Response (or TPR for short). Namely:

• It is most important to hear, listen and understand the language at first (by not requiring speaking you reduce stress).
• Then you gradually learn to speak it, using certain phrases over and over again and adding vocabulary.
• Finally, reading and writing should come last.

In fact, TPR is based very much on the way that children learn languages. So much so that they encourage you not to speak a word in the first month that you're learning, rather like a child spends up to 2 years just soaking in the language before it attempts to form the words itself.

Why is it called Total Physical Response, I hear you ask? Well, the idea is that the best way to learn new words and phrases is to do so in a context which involves physical movement, for example acting out verbs, or choosing between objects and pointing to them.

Here's how a typical lesson in our homeschool might go:

• I decide we're going to learn, for example, 6 different colours.
• I find 6 different objects, each coloured one of the colours in question.
• Using puppets (which just makes it more fun, and the kids love it!) I point to each colour and clearly say the name in French several times.
• I then call out a colour and Sophie and Charis have to point to it, or remove the object.
• They are not required to say the words themselves, just to understand them and react accordingly.
• We do learn certain greetings, such as 'Hello', 'How are you?', and role play those. 
• We also learn 'power phrases' such as 'What's that?' and 'Repeat that please', which the children can use if necessary.
• In addition, we listen to and learn some French children's songs, and read through some books in French, and occasionally watch a DVD.

Here are some resources I use for French:

Another resource I use is this website.  I'm currently working through the vocabulary suggested in the teachers guide, and then when we're ready we'll watch the corresponding film on the computer. The girls love the theme tune!

This is also a great site for finding and learning French songs.  

Finally, if you're interested to learn more about TPR, go here.

In conclusion, please bear in mind that my eldest is only 7 years old. This is what works for us now, but I'd be interested to read about other people's suggestions for resources for older students.

Abide in Him!