Sophie was 7 at the beginning of this academic school year, which means that here in Russia she should be going into Year 1. And so, like never before, I find myself being questioned by interested and/or concerned local friends and neighbours as to what exactly I’m doing with her and why I’m choosing to teach her at home rather than send her to local school. Homeschooling is so rare here that they just don't understand why anyone would even want to do this.
As I contemplate this, I realise of course that there are certain things I would say to some groups of people and not to others. For example, I don’t want to go into detail with local people about how I feel I can provide better teaching materials and resources for my child at home, or how I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of my child learning how some students ‘supplement their teacher’s income’ in order to ensure good grades, but I might mention those things to some ex-pat friends. With friends who are believers I would probably go into a few details about some of the spiritual advantages of homeschooling, but it's usually not appropriate with the majority of local people who tend to ask me questions.
So what would I say? Here are some things I came up with:
Friend: “Which school are you sending Sophie to?”
Me: “Actually, Sophie learns at home with me. We have ‘Home School’.”
Friend: “Oh! Why did you decide to do that?”
Me: “Well, I’m a teacher by profession (OK, I know not everybody can say that, but if you can then it helps!). We decided it was more helpful for her to learn in English so that when we go back to England it will be easier for her to go to an English university.”
Friend: “But how do you do exams? Do you have to show someone what you’re doing?”
Me: “It’s not necessary to do exams until she’s 16 or 18. And in England you don’t have to show someone what you’re doing in home school. (This may not be true for you depending on your home country situation). Exams are needed to check how the student is doing, and I can see for myself whether she’s learnt something or not.”
Friend: “How do you know what to teach?”
Me: “I bring lots of books from England, and I follow a curriculum on the internet that tells me what I should be teaching.”
Friend: “Isn’t it boring for her not to be with other children and have friends?”
Me: “Oh, she has friends and opportunities to mix with other children. She plays every day with our neighbours, she has friends at our church and she goes to an art class and dance class twice a week in town.”
Friend (running out of things to say): “Well, it must be really difficult. I couldn’t do it!”
Me: “It does take up a lot of my time, but I really enjoy it. I like to have all the children with me during the day, and they go to bed at 8pm, so I get some time to myself in the evenings.” (Russian children usually go to bed when their parents do. They make up for this by having an enforced 2 hour nap at kindergarten).
So that might be how a typical conversation might go. I tend to stress certain things (like the importance of learning in English) which aren't actually among the top ten reasons why I homeschool in the first place! In my next post on this topic I'll list those top ten reasons, but in the meantime, let me know how you deal with these kinds of situations, I'd love to hear how other people handle them:
Qu: What kind of questions do you get asked by local friends about your homeschooling?
Qu: What answers do you give?
Abide in Him!
I struggle more with Christians than non-Christians. I can explain my spiritual reasons for homeschooling to unbelievers and they tend to accept it, albeit with the old chestnut of socialisation. I find it hard to explain to fellow Christians why we homeschool without seeming to judge them for not doing so. It's hard, isn't it? I'll look forward to your next post with your top ten reasons :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Julie!
DeleteYes, it's very hard not to sound like you're judging someone else's choices. We all have different values and priorities. Here the Christian ex-pats tend to send their kids to school 1) to pick up the language and 2) for socialisation, and both those reasons I can sympathise with, but then they have to supplement the schooling with English language stuff at home. I think I'd find it harder if I were back home in the UK to justify my homeschooling to others without sounding judgmental or just plain weird :-)
Just like you, I stress the importance of English, even though it's really not one of my top reasons. :-) Our conversations usually go like this:
ReplyDelete"Where do they go to school?"
"At home. I teach them."
"Why?!?!"
"So that we can do English and Russian simultaneously."
"But the schools here have English from 1st class!"
"Yes, but it's English as a foreign language, not native English like I can give them."
"Oh. Well, WHAT ABOUT HIGHER EDUCATION?!?!"
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
And then I usually distract by telling them about how in America homeschooling is considered a good option educationally and that homeschoolers often do quite well at university. Or I explain that I was homeschooled and how the later years worked out for me.
With believers, I'll often try to explain that God gave us the responsibility of raising these children, and that we think we can do that best by keeping them home. I have to be careful there, though, because I don't want to sound like I'm criticizing other choices.
Hi Phyllis!
DeleteThanks, that was really helpful to see what kind of conversations you have too :-) I like the point about English being a native rather than a foreign language.
Oh, also, have you ever tried to explain Charlotte Mason? I did once, and it seemed to go over okay. I'd like to do it more, but it almost seems pointless. The one time it worked was with someone who knows another American homeschooling family and was somewhat familiar with what they do. She asked me, "You homeschool? Oh, so you use the same textbooks as the X family?" Now, I know that the family she was talked about uses a full textbook school-in-a-box set, so explained a little, saying that not only do we not use the same books, we have a whole different philosophy.
ReplyDeleteProbably just saying that we stay home is weird enough, but I've heard of a few homeschool families in Russia, and now I'm hearing about one that might be starting near us, so I'm kind of wanting to trying talking more about CM. :-)
No, I've not yet tried to explain CM. I've only come across one Russian homeschooling family (believers) and I think they just followed the exact same textbooks as the school did and then had to check in every now and again to explain where they'd got up to. However, recitation seems to be much more part of the schooling system here than it is in England. I was really annoyed when my language tutor used to ask me to retell a story back in Russian, and I used to think it strange how Russian children could memorise and recite so many poems so easily. I used to judge them as 'just learning parrot fashion', and also I couldn't understand why they would wait until aged 7 to go to school, but since coming across CM and Ambleside Online my thinking has changed in those areas!
DeleteThank you for sharing this today I was encouraged to read about your conversations and hear your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSo similar to my situation as well. I do live overseas but in a closed country, so my blog does not reflect this due to security risks etc. but we have been here over ten years, homeschooling for four of those ten years. I have had fewer of those kinds of conversation because homeschooling has taken us out of the schedule of most other expats in that when the moms are free I am schooling, when I am free their kids are home and they are not free aside from the kids getting together. But since we were not in their school the kids usually have already made their plans with others. Again we are left to ourselves.
Most of the families here created a co-op to deal with many of the reasons you homeschooled. SO the mom's could be free to meet with local ladies. But a co-op has its international issues as well. What curriculum do you teach, from what educational backgrounds do people come from. We had Korean, Australian, British, American, South African, Maltese, Indian etc. In the end to suit everyone it was watered down.Since most were non native speakers of english my kids would have had little to no stimulation in literature which I felt was high on my list and I was unwilling to drop it. Communities have their function but a rich life and freedom lies in seeking the road less traveled in our experience.
I had some good conversations with other mom's when I shared snippets of our schooling and CM methods to illustrate topics we were both interested in like habit training. Talking about this often led to antidotes from school which led to questions spurred on by intrigue rather than by interrogation. The common ground is there....but being the odd ball it was up to me to find it. Just as it was for me to find it as an expat with the local community around me. Once I settled on being odd and I am ok most people acquiesced to my confidence.
Hi Sarah! It was so lovely to read your comment and realise we have a lot in common. We too live in a sensitive area, and have also been here ten years. I empathise with your frustration of not being free at the same times as other expats. Sometimes I envy their freedom and feel left out, but I know I've made the right decision. Someone started talking about a co-op, but it wouldn't be for me - I love homeschooling. I'm learning so much, even if my kids aren't!
DeleteBeautiful blog, Catherine. I am always intrigued to read about homeschooling overseas. I too, have a teaching license so that always makes those conversations go a little more smoothly. I think it's most important to welcome others' curiosity and extend grace to them whatever their views or misgivings toward homeschool might be. Great topic!
ReplyDeleteHi Bobby Jo! Thanks for your comment and encouragement. Yes, having my teaching qualification not only helps allay the fears and misgivings of others, but is also helpful to me in those times of doubt and discouragement when I wonder whether I can really do this! Thanks for stopping by.
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