Wednesday, 26 June 2013

10 Things I'll Miss About Russia - Part 1

We've been back in the UK nearly two weeks now, and are slowly recovering from the two day journey with 15 large bags, 9 items of hand luggage and 3 small-ish children. We're gradually, albeit a bit reluctantly, adjusting back to life here in England. It's lovely to be reunited with family, to have more conveniences on hand, and to already be making use of the wonderful health care system, but at the same time we feel very much in limbo and are afraid of getting sucked into materialism and just the 'mundane-ness' of life as we experience it here.

So, before I go too far along the transition process, I wanted to remember and record all the good things about our life in Russia. Things that we really appreciated and will really miss. I'll write this over two posts and in reverse order:

10) Village Life

Back in Russia we lived in a village that was situated close to a main town. It was the best of both worlds,
really. We loved the peaceful, slow way of life in the village. I loved the fact that the kids and I could see so many animals on our walks 'around the block'. There were chickens, geese and turkeys just out and about on the streets or behind wire fences where we could see them and observe them. Every evening the cows would amble home from the pasture, and we watched in amazement as each cow knew exactly where she lived and would peel off from the rest of the herd, stand at her own gate and moo until the owner let her in for the night. There were of course lots of dogs and cats (pets and strays) around, and occasionally we would see a horse and her foal munching grass by the side of the road.

9) Beautiful Scenery

We were lucky enough to live in a place where we could see a range of snow-capped mountains in the distance. On a clear day the view was stunning. I named our homeschool 'Mountain River Homeschool' and our special verse was Psalm 121 v 1,2:

"I life up my eyes to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." 

When we were in need of a break, then a few hours drive and we could be up in those mountains, enjoying a family picnic or walking beside mountain streams.




8) New Food

One of the most interesting aspects of travelling is trying out the local, ethnic cuisine. We'll miss the local pies, the wonderful variety of salads and the varied assortment of cakes. We'll also miss some local foods that came to be a natural part of our diet and that are hard to replicate here, such as the wonderful seasonal fruit and veg (I doubt we'll see watermelons that size again for a long time), dairy products such as smetana, grains and legumes such as buckwheat (it doesn't seem to be quite the same in my local supermarket in England) and a certain pear-flavoured fizzy drink called 'grusha'. Over the years I adapted my recipes to fit the local ingredients and there were fewer and fewer things that I hankered after from the UK (with the exception of peanut butter, marmite and custard powder!) I'll miss the local farmers' markets.

7) Reduced Health and Safety Restrictions

OK, this one might sound a bit strange. I mean, what kind of mother would like slacker rules on health and safety? But there are a few things that we find have been taken to an extreme back home in England. Road works is one. In England, the whole road could get closed off, causing annoying disruptions. In Russia, you just drove around it, and if your car fell in the hole, well, that was your problem. There were no restrictions on photographing your kids in public places. You could let your children go and play on the street with their friends from a really young age because you knew that they would all be under the watchful eye of some babushka standing on the corner. And, although we almost always strapped our kids into car seats, you knew that if necessary it would be totally OK to hold a child on your lap while you were giving friends a lift home.
 
6) A Gadget-Free Childhood

Every time we go back to England we’re amazed at how many toys and gadgets children have. And whilst we provided our children with more toys probably than many local children in Russia were able to have, we’re still very thankful that our kids have grown up in a culture where it’s normal to spend your afternoons riding bikes, setting up a home for your dollies in the garden shed, picking flowers and climbing trees rather than playing computer games or watching cartoons on the iPad. We’ve also appreciated not being pressured by our kids to buy ‘the latest thing’ or a particular brand of clothing that everyone else is wearing, simply because that wasn’t important in Russia, at least not among their peers. Somehow I get the feeling that life will be a bit more expensive here in England, in terms of what we will need to buy for the children!

I'll let you know my top 5 things in the next post, which you can find here. But in the meantime

Qu: If you've ever been to Russia, what were some of the things you appreciated about life there? Or if you've lived overseas somewhere else, what are some of the things that you would miss/have missed about life there?

Abide in Him!

Linking up here:

TheBetterMom.com



Thursday, 6 June 2013

How Building A RAFT Can Help In Times of Transition


We’re now into our last few days of living here in Russia before we return to England. This week we’ve moved from concentrating on selling/packing/getting rid of all our stuff (and when it’s been accumulating for 11 years there’s an awful lot of it!) to saying painful goodbyes.

And it’s not just saying goodbye to people that’s painful, but also to places and activities that have been special to us over the years. Yesterday, for example, I had my last visit to my favourite café in town. Situated in the park, it’s been so peaceful being able to sit outside in the summer-time especially, and I’ve spent many an afternoon there re-charging my batteries and re-focussing my vision for the week ahead. I’m really going to miss it!

Many people have shared with us the RAFT principles of transistion times such as this. It’s a tool offered by the late Dave Pollock, who wrote a seminal book about TCKs (check it out here: Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition). RAFT stands for:

R – Reconciliation
Try to heal any broken relationships and resolve any tensions before you leave.

A-  Affirmation
Tell people how much you’ve appreciated them and been blessed by them over the years. Thank them for their kindnesses.

F- Farewells
Make sure you make time to say goodbye not just to people but also to places, possessions and pets.

T – Think Destination
Be realistic about what it’s going to be like when you return and how you’re going to cope with all the adjustments.

Following the principle of Affirmation, I felt moved to write a comment in the comments book at my favourite café. I thanked them for many things, including the fact that they have the best toilet in the whole town! This may sound like a trivial thing, but when you’re faced with the alternative of dirty holes in the floor and open-topped baskets overflowing with discarded, used toilet paper and other unmentionables, the clean, white toilet seat, the automatic soap dispenser and the continuous stock of paper towels seem like they’ve been sent from heaven!

So, if you’re going through a time of transition, moving from one place to another, I encourage you to build a
RAFT too!

Qu: Have you had experiences of good transitions using this model? Do you have any advice to add about how to make transition times smoother? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Abide in Him!


Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net/baitong333 and cbenjasuwan


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