How Building A RAFT Can Help In Times of Transition

We’re now into our last few days of living here in Russia before we return to England. This week we’ve moved from concentrating on selling/packing/getting rid of all our stuff (and when it’s been accumulating for 11 years there’s an awful lot of it!) to saying painful goodbyes.

And it’s not just saying goodbye to people that’s painful, but also to places and activities that have been special to us over the years. Yesterday, for example, I had my last visit to my favourite café in town. Situated in the park, it’s been so peaceful being able to sit outside in the summer-time especially, and I’ve spent many an afternoon there re-charging my batteries and re-focussing my vision for the week ahead. I’m really going to miss it!

Many people have shared with us the RAFT principles of transistion times such as this. It’s a tool offered by the late Dave Pollock, who wrote a seminal book about TCKs (check it out here: Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, Revised Edition). RAFT stands for:

R – Reconciliation

Try to heal any broken relationships and resolve any tensions before you leave.

A-  Affirmation

Tell people how much you’ve appreciated them and been blessed by them over the years. Thank them for their kindnesses.

F- Farewells

Make sure you make time to say goodbye not just to people but also to places, possessions and pets.

T – Think Destination

Be realistic about what it’s going to be like when you return and how you’re going to cope with all the adjustments.

Following the principle of Affirmation, I felt moved to write a comment in the comments book at my favourite café. I thanked them for many things, including the fact that they have the best toilet in the whole town! This may sound like a trivial thing, but when you’re faced with the alternative of dirty holes in the floor and open-topped baskets overflowing with discarded, used toilet paper and other unmentionables, the clean, white toilet seat, the automatic soap dispenser and the continuous stock of paper towels seem like they’ve been sent from heaven!

So, if you’re going through a time of transition, moving from one place to another, I encourage you to build a
RAFT too!

Qu: Have you had experiences of good transitions using this model? Do you have any advice to add about how to make transition times smoother? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Abide in Him!

Photo credit: freedigitalphotos.net/baitong333 and cbenjasuwan